5 posts from January 2009

Yesterday, this little marriage I'm in turned two years old.

Awwwww!

It's true! It's starting to walk and grow teeth and everything. Bless!

To celebrate this most glorious occasion, Iain and I went ice skating at Hampton Court Palace. (With approximately 454 other families.)

We've never really been a cheesy, "do what yer 'sposed-ta" couple, so sleeping in, grabbing a Starbucks and then driving over to a palace to do an hour of ice skating was the perfect day for us.

This was taken right before an Ice Marshal came over and told us to put our phones and cameras away. OooOoOo! Scary ICE MARSHAL! Your authority frightens me!

I actually surprised myself at how well I skated, considering I have not thrown myself on the ice whilst wearing tiny blades for about a decade. I wasn't doing triple sow cows or anything, but I didn't fall. Not once.

Iain did alright. He maaaaay have been wizzing in and out of families and adults and, you know, not falling and generally going faster than anyone else on the rink - but let's focus on the fact that I didn't fall and that I looked nice.

Seeing as the Ice Marshal completely scared us with his authoritative manner of skating, and - you know - marshalling the ice, we couldn't take any photos of us TOGETHER whilst skating, so we had to opt for taking Myspace-style photos off the ice.

They turned out like this.

Which looks frighteningly like this:

Out of focus? Check. Blurry? Check. Nighttime? Check. Glowing building behind us? Checkity check check.

Also, you'll be pleased to know that in two years of marriage I have been wearing the same ear muffs that I bought on our "honeymoon" in Brighton:

Then...

Now...

Nice? I'm glad that I care enough to update my wardrobe and accessories enough to try and keep things *exciting*.

Instead of going out to dinner, we decided to have a cozy night in.

Iain made Toad in the Hole....

The stellar camera on Iain's Blackberry Bold makes this look like a giant ham, but it's not. And it was freaking amazing, as well.

I baked a Lemon Drizzle Cake....

And then we sat around stuffing our faces, watching Batman Begins (all the while going, "Why the hell didn't we ask for Dark Knight for Christmas!?") and sucking down Asti Martini.

...Which I now call Astin Martin, totally on accident. I think I definitely watch too much Top Gear.

I really did mean to give you an update on what I think about marriage...but I'm too tired and grumpy for that. I believe tomorrow we're getting up early to go to the gym, so I best wrap this up.

I may not be dieting all that hard, but we are working out. And technically, an hour's worth of brisk ice skating is difficult on the ass, and therefore exercise.

Anyway....

It doesn't feel like we've been married for 2 years. It still feels like a strange mixture of everything we've been through and done feeling like it was yesterday...and yet a thousand years ago at the same time.

And we're happy. And we still like each other. Sometimes we even hold hands and go to second base.

I'm not sure what else a girl could ask for.

 

I've seen this advert on Myspace a couple days in a row now and I really can't help but wonder what the hell its designers were thinking.

Firstly, it doesn't look like a fucking tulip.

It looks like either two hands that are purely made of muscle with no skin.

Or the hands of a third degree burn victim, begging for money.

Today at Sainsburys, two sad things happened:

1) We bought Sainsbury's own brand of baked beans, instead of Heinz's.

2) We bought Sainsbury's own brand of ketchup, instead of Heinz's.

Please bear in mind that these are two things I said that I'd never do, but fuck it, we saved like £1.50. And do you know what £1.50 is? Half of a Starbucks latte. IT'S WORTH IT.

After purchasing these two ghetto items, I started thinking about all of the slightly ghetto things from either my late teens (collecting all the change we could find in the house and driving in a 10-year-old car with the CD player ripped out to the local Wienerschnitzel for dinner) or from my childhood that we did when money was tight.

I suppose this whole not having money thing isn't that surprising or shocking to me, as growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. We always had clothes, we always had a roof over our heads and we never, ever went hungry.

But when you live in a suburban area where you're surrounded by soccer moms who live in gated communities and your neighbor the dentist who drives a Porsche, you kind of notice these things once you're old enough to.

It also didn't help that there was the assumption at my schools that if you're weren't dressed head to toe in Abercrombie & Fitch, it was because you couldn't afford it and were, like, hella poor. (Well, we couldn't, but fuck - $20 for a fucking t-shirt?! I wouldn't pay for that now even if I COULD afford it.)

Back then, certain things were luxuries: going out to eat in a restaurant, going to McDonalds, buying a CD, getting new shoes, going out for ice cream, getting a new shirt at Mervyn's, etc, etc...

Because going out to eat or getting fast food was a luxury - even big "value" meals were out of the question. Do you want to supersize that? No. NO you don't!

At one point I remember when McDonalds did their 29 cent Hamburger Wednesdays and 39 cent Cheeseburger Sundays. My mom and my sister and I would go through the drive through, but only ever on a Wednesday when we would order a bunch of hamburgers, and then go home, slap on a Kraft Single, and put it in the microwave.

We saved 10 cents. IN YO FACE RONALD!

When things were really bad and pizza was out of the question, we would make "Pizza" instead - a fine household delicacy that I sometimes still make.

"Pizza" Recipe:

Ingredients:

2 slices of white bread
Mayo
Ketchup
2 Kraft Singles

Directions:

On each slice of bread, you spread on a little mayo, then a little more ketchup than the mayo, and then lay a Kraft Single on top of it. Pop it in the microwave for 60 seconds and you're set! Pizza!

When (actual) pizza was in the cards, we'd get Papa Murphy's. Do you remember Papa Murphy's? At the time, I remember it pissing off my friends and I that our parents wouldn't just get freakin' Dominos or Round Table. Take and bake? Really?

But, good god, it was good. In fact, it's so good that my pals on Twitter tell me that it's still alive and kickin'. One guy even informed me that they have a Papa Murphy's in their local Wal-Mart. How fucking American is that!?!? Love it.

Reflecting on how delicious an Italian Calzone from Papa Murphy's is, and how unappreciative I was of it at the time, part of me wants to call up my 13-year-old self and be like,

"Bitch, you better appreciate your whole 'take 'n bake" culture because one day, missy, you're going to fucking miss it. And you know what, be thankful that your parents are buying you a Papa Murphy's for you and your stupid little friend for this sleepover party.

Firstly, because that was nice of your mom. Secondly, your stupid little friend is going to stab you in the back in about three years so, I wouldn't put much more effort into this. Also, don't tell her that you like the guy you sit next to in Science. She'll tell him."

So, all in all, buying the Sainsburys beans isn't going to kill me. At least we can have beans.

I believe it's called MAKING DO.

So, you know, buying a 29 cent hamburger and putting on your own cheeese to save 10 cents may be a little ghetto, but hell, you never know when all you need is 10 cents.

(Hi, Mom!) 
 

I've been reading a lot about other people's New Years Resolutions, and, for the most part, I just find making resolutions kind of stupid. (No offense.)

It's like looking a kid in the eye and saying, "Yes, of course the Tooth Fairy is real. Promise."

You are NOT going down to the gym nights a week! (Trust me. I tried. And failed.)

Be realistic.

Plus, what's with all the deprivation? No cheese? No more champagne in your orange juice?

That sucks! January and February probably always seem so dull because everyone is trying to stick to their resolutions of depriving themselves of everything good in the world. Or, they've already fucked up their resolutions and they're making themselves feel guilty and stupid for not being able to finish anything. Ever.

So, I'm not going to make a list of things I won't do...but more so what I want to do MORE of. And I won't call them resolutions...it's more like, a hope list.

So here it is. my "more hope" list for 2009...

1. I'd like to eat more vegetables and fruit, and to drink more water.

2. I'd like to be more positive about myself and what I do.

3. I would like to feel more compelled to wake up early every morning, instead of laying there, hitting snooze and dreaming away the morning.

4. I would like to work more efficiently. I'll never give up Twitter, but surely there's a way for me to do more with my time when I'm working.

5. I would like to become more limber and more toned.

6. I want to listen more. I mean really listen.

7. I want to speak and write more honestly.

8. I want to care more about what the right people think and say.

9. I would like for my husband to have more peace of mind, and more free time to himself to just do whatever he wants.

10. More love. You can never have enough of that.

 

So, here we are, folks. 2009.

I've not met one person that was sorry to see 2008 go, although, to be fair, I think we're all being a little hard on the poor lass.

Sure, a lot of really, really bad things happened to all of us in 2008. We lost our jobs. Some of you lost your homes or your cars. But really, things didn't get really bad until about the last half of 2008. The first half? Not so bad.

In the first half of 2008, I traveled around the world. Literally.

I saw Paris, I saw Tokyo, and I got to see all of my fabulous friends in San Francisco.

I was working on my dirty little secret in private. BitchBuzz was just gold dust. Hopes and dreams locked in my head. Would it happen? Could I do it?

Come to think of it, everything was fine and stable until about my second night in Paris.

Something just hit me, and I knew I was going to have to make a big change, before someone else decided to make that big change for me.

When I returned to London, someone did make that big change for me, but I was - for the most part - ready for it.

Where I am, I where, I believe, I'm meant to be.

It's hard, it's so hard, and I hate to sound like a Negative Nancy, but let's be fucking real here. Shits hard for so many of us, and I can't lie here. For better or worse I wear my heart and my emotions on my digital sleeve. So if it feels sort of down and complainy and kinda depressing lately around here, that's because it is.

But, I have hope. I do have hope and faith and positivity...

I just need them to ignite and to burn a little brighter than they have been lately.

But, luckily, we have a fresh start: a new year.

I think so many of us just want a start over. A clean slate...

And here we are, the start of a new year, and soon - we'll have a new president. A man who represents hope. Christ, he's written a book on it. What more could we ask for?

The world has hunkered down. What will this year bring? Could it get any worse? Is it going to be worse than the last one?

Who the hell knows. Will my 2009 be better than 2008? Of course it will. But perhaps we all just need to lighten up a bit. Personally, I'd rather make jokes about it being the Great Depression Part Deux while I cut out coupons and eat beans on toast rather than crying into my electric bill.

We all need to be a bit more supportive of eachother. A bit more open, a bit more friendly. A bit more willing to say, "Hey, you know what, I'm having a hard time, too...let's go down to the 1/2 price Chinese place and split some chow mein."

We all need to be a little more positive and understand that while we may be having a hard time finding a job, at least we still have a roof over our heads.

And those of you with cushy jobs that pay you more than enough money for sitting on your ass and checking Facebook all day - maybe you could pick up the tab when you meet your unemployed friend who is a bit down on his luck out to dinner, eh?

I learned so much last year...I recall writing that I wanted to know what it was like to work hard. To work real hard. To work so hard, that when things payed off and were going well, I would feel like I deserved it....

Well here I am. I'm at the hard part I wanted to be at. I'm payin' dues, and sleeping in small, uncomfortable hotel rooms while everyone is in the double suite.

But what I don't have in money, or gadgets, or fancy shoes, or even a recent hair cut....I have in faith. And I have a whole lotta love.

And that's enough to get us through.

Hello, 2009. Let's do this.