You'll laugh, you'll cry...You may even pee a little

Dec 21, 2006 at 12:46 PM
25 comments

My good pal Stuart sent me this link a few minutes ago, and it is a collection of probably the best reivews I have ever read, in my entire life. I kid not, I was weeping tears of glee and delight. Please, for the love of all that is good and holy...

READ THE REVIEWS OF JORDAN AND PETER'S ALBUM

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[this is good]

um.....wow, that is some album...I might have to rush out and buy that......lol

[this is good]

hahaha good ol' Stu sent it to me too, isn't it brilliant!!! I read all the reviews on each page, and had tears streaming down my face pretty much, I was laughing so hard.

[this is good]

Ouch, ouch, ouch. I think I hurt something. How in the HELL did you find this.

Oh god, have you seen the video for "A Whole New World"? It's.... it's almost beyond words. Breathtaking. It made me cry. Warning: Don't watch it at work though unless you have an office with a door you can close.

I love that video - it is sooo tacky! I specially love the white dress which must be for someone of a smaller bust size as it doesn't lace up properly! (OK - I like it because it is shit.)

But they are made for each other - they are both plastic, they have the same shape face which I find oddly distracting and they both have the IQ of a gnat. A small gnat.

[c’est top]

[this is good]

"It's not often that you can buy a record which is sung by 3 huge t1ts.
Anybody taking this albumn or these artists seriously should be removed from society and placed into a secure unit somewhere where they can be looked after by people wearing white uniforms."

Priceless....I really do think I peed a little...tee hee.

OMG! That is so funny!

Fantastic! It's on Amazon.com, too. The picture on the front is different- they clearly put her boobs in profile because I think a lot of Americans don't know who she is, so in that case, her breasticles are really what's selling the album.

[this is good]

OMG. Had to follow this through to YouTube so I could experience the beauty, the joy, the magic (where did that balloon come from?!?), ... the originality... for myself. I am, in a word, transformed.

Thank you, so much, for sharing.

I laughed, I cried, I spit riesling all over pants, so it looks like I peed a little.

CupCate replied to Average Joe’s comment:
Dec 22, 2006
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[this is good]

I can't take credit for finding it :) My editor forwarded me the link, and I was seriously crying from laughing so fucking hard. THIS is why I love the internet. Those reviews are honestly the funniest thing I've read in such a long, long time.

I HATE them so much, but they give me such entertainment and joy. The random balloon proposal in the end made me pee. The thousands of wardrobe changes are hilarious, as is the individual RANDOM SHOWER SCENES.

They totally ripped off Sexyback's video. But not well...OH man. I enjoy them. A latte.

[ciò è buono]

*sigh* ... i love that Jordan cleaned up her nudie pin-up act and went for true class... i wish that i could only be as inspirational as her *gag*

Is it because I'm not a Brit that this is completely lost on me? I like to consider myself pretty hip and in touch with pop culture but I have no idea who these people are. o_O I even have gobs of friends in the UK. How sad am I that I can't enjoy these reviews to their fullest extent?

K Starr. Here's a link to the video (I wouldn't want you to miss out on this life changing experience): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUfpCebOmFE

[this is good]

Glad I went to the bathroom before checking out the reviews. My favorite is:
"If you love you wife or child, if you believe that there is a God, or if you strive for world peace and the end to global warming, then you MUST buy this album!"
Don't you just have the incredible urge to go add your own review...come on, imagine if we could get like 100 insane 5-star reviews. "This album cured my colo-rectal cancer and saved my marriage by making my husband not gay again." Come on, people, don't you feel it calling to you?

Pinot Princess replied to CupCate’s comment:
Dec 23, 2006
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I hate Christmas music. With an unparalleled passion. I work retail, where I am forced to listen to Christmas music, 60 to 80 hours per week for 6 weeks straight. I hear Christmas music in my head during my nightly bouts of insomnia. I hear Christmas music in my head all the damned time. I thought I was in hell. Then I made the mistake of watching that video on YouTube. The song became stuck in my head. I piled the CD changer full of Christmas music and turned the stereo on. Damn you, Cate, you evil suggester of malicious ear worms!

[this is good]

Kirk-

I'm sorry that you cannot understand how intensely important this couple is the UK. Basically, Katie Price/Jordan is a natural beauty, that used to pose nude for a UK newspaper. Peter, is a one hit wonder, I'm sorry, WAS a one hit wonder...Basicaly, they have a fairytale love story...They met on the reality show "I'm A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here!" and have since gotten married and had children...

Now, suddenly, Jordan has discovered that she can SING. And so they decided to do a duet album. To give you an ever better grasp of their immense talent, I strongly urge you to be MYSTIFIED by the link Leenda sent you, so you can experiance their talent in action.

If this hasn't intrigued you enough, please read this part of a review Citygent wrote:

I've always loved music of all types whether sparce Belgian techno or dark jungle, gabba or handbag cheese, trip-hop or progressive, uplifting Italian piano or down and grimy speed garage, drum AND base or good ol' fashioned nosebleed, but today.... today something new, something ground breaking has literally assaulted my ears like a sonic enema, purging everything that I thought I knew about music, leaving me feeling washed out, cleansed and ready to leave behind the old me, what I used to be, leaving me ready, ready for a whole new world.

I ripped this CD into MP3, put on my iPod and as the first notes hit me, I sat bolt upright, like, like...... like a puppy that's been trodden on, and I ran, ran through the house, down the hall and straight through the closed patio doors, shards of glass embedding in me as I danced around the garden, leaping like Bambi might have done if Bambi had been shot in the butt with a .177 air pellet.

I don't remember what happened next, but when the final track, 'Lullaby', ended I was tapping my foot and clicking my fingers in the first class section of a plane to Denver, Colarado. Naked.

CupCate replied to Pinot Princess’ comment:
Dec 23, 2006
Reply

[this is good]

You didn't like it? WHAT?????!!!!

lol

[this is good]

You are bloody hilarious. I hope you don't mind me adding you to my neighbourhood.

[this is good]

I came across some of their songs whilst downloading others a few days ago Cate! I love them! Matthew walked in the door, home from work and I was in the kitchen baking away, listening to their music, hips swaying, rolling out cookie dough, and he goes "what's this gay shit?" I was like....

"WHAT!!????? Gay??? Shit???? WHAT???? GASP GASP GASP"

So, I read about this couple and I was intruiged, to say the least. I found out their story and love is amazing and I can hear that in their music. So, I simply LOVE this album and I plan to buy it.

Matthew listened to it for a while and I made him apologize for what he said, lol. He admitted he liked their music eventually anyway. I knew it!!

Theres 2 1/2 minutes of my life gone...............

[this is good]

Ok,Citygent's and C.Maxwell...KILLED me. Brilliant.

[this is good]

I really don't understand why Jordan is such a big deal in the UK - her big breasts?? or perhaps the things she says?? She looks awful, but so does Pamela Anderson.
Well, the best of the comments is: "forgot men on the moon!"

You'll laugh, you'll cry...You may even pee a little

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