Here Comes The Asshole...Dum, dum, de, dum...
I hate girls.
Every single girl in the world, in Japanese, Cantonese, and mother fucking English has said this... Said this with passion and conviction.
But Ladies, today, I OWN this phrase.
And let me go on to be more specific: I hate most of the girls in my life.
I don't hate the girls in bars that look me and my fiance up and down. I don't hate the random girl that tried to trip me as she walked past me on the street. I don't even hate the rude girl at Starbucks who can't get my fucking drink right.
Today, I am hating the girls that are IN my life, without participating in it.
The girls that cried when I left California, and can't even write me a fucking email.
The girls that use me for advice, and come crawling to me when they don't know what to do.
The girls that kiss my ass when they want me to tell them what to do with their life, and then ignore me and my good fortune when the sun shines for them.
One of my "advice seeking" friends called me an asshole because I didn't tell her right away that I was engaged.
Then there are the female relatives in my life that view me as nothing less than a fuck-up.
My Uncle's Wife can't seem to handle the fact that I quit college. In fact, she can't seem to handle anything I do, simply because it scares the shit out of her that someone could be successful WITHOUT having to go down the "correct path" that she went down. It's like, your condescending attitude and blatant disapproval of my choices doesn't make you a loving, concerned family member. It makes you a judgmental, yuppie, bitch.
It seems to me that women can only be happy for other woman if their joy somehow includes them.
There are some women who couldn't even be happy for me because they were too concerned that they weren't "invited".
We're fucking ELOPING pretty much, and having a big ass party later in the year. It's what I want. THAT is my "dream" wedding. Can you swallow your own issues for 2 seconds to even say, "I'm happy for you"?
My friends and family would be sending me all their blessings, and congratulatory praise, if "my special day" were involving them. They would be happy if my wedding, were the wedding THEY wanted me to have.
And then there are the friends that decided just to call me an asshole, or to simply not respond.
The unfortunate thing, is that I could understand if I were a shitty friend who cut them out of my life when I moved, and then only wrote them to let them know that I was engaged because I wanted attention.
But these are people that I have put a lot of time and energy into our friendship, especially since I moved, and I get jack shit in return.
I don't want a fucking bachelorette party. I'm not looking for gifts, or money, or even attention. I don't want
any of the traditional bullshit because I think it exactly that...BULLSHIT.
I would just like a genuine response. "I'm so happy for you." or "You two are going to be so happy together..."
Since when did the wedding details, and guest list become more important then the actual MARRIAGE?
....Aside from all of my false friendships, and inconsiderate reactions...
I just wanted to say a big thank you to Lizinator.
Although we're not like BFF, and quite often go about our own lives, and randomly check in with one another...I genuinely appreciate your efforts at keeping in touch with me, and for expressing your genuine happiness for me.
And for calling me BRAVE.
I appreciate that more than words can say.
Comments
I think it's awesome that you have been able to look past the big white party and see that the most important thing is the marriage. More power to you! I hope you have a grand time eloping and that you have a long and loving marriage. :)
Thank you so much :)
I so appreciate the warm wishes...We're very excited to get hitched, and even more excited not to have to deal with all that wedding bullshit...
Plus, I found a h-a-w-t dress...and not one bow, or yard of lace is involved. Woo.
people are basically assholes because they're jealous. and if you think about it, that's valid for pretty much every situation. the family members that are jealous they're not "invited" to your errr elopement? that's so gross. the girls that look you up and down in bars (they're so jealous of your fabulous shoes it kills them). I tell them green isn't a good color on them.
When we got married I decided that I didn't want a big huge wedding, I just wanted something small and elegant with only about 20 of my closest friends and relatives. Shit hit the fan when only 2 out of over 50 plus of my cousins got an invite to my wedding. I didn't care one bit. I was the one paying for everything and having more guests would have just stressed me out even more!
About the story of my BFF. She decided to break up with me because she didn't "support my lifestyle" and she never liked him in the first place because he didn't agree to her opinion, which I believe is so god damn close-minded. Anyway. BFF for 6 years. Crazy isn't it? During our break up I realize what I should have realized years ago about PEOPLE (in general). They don't give a rat's ass about you until you become CONVENIENT for them such as doing favors, buying better presents, distance, etc.. My ex-best friend is a year older than me so she graduated a year earlier than me, experienced college, and she's always been luckier than me. Basically, she's always looked at me as a younger sister. But it truly hurts that people who you think you can trust can instantly stop caring for you after you have moved or decide to change your life. Ridiculous, but hey at least we both have the love of our lives with us.
I'm guessing the reason you call your husband "your fiance" is because if your family found out they would burn on at the stake?
It can be very, very difficult to tell your family if they're more traditional, religous, or conservative.
Thankfully, my family are pretty understanding. Of course, it was still scary and very hard at times, But I kenw they wouldn't disown me.
They're slowing getting use to my way of life.
Does your family know you're engaged?
And your BFF? Total asshole. I wouldn't waste another minute trying to figure out what's up her ass. It sounds as though she's very jealous of your, and tried to control you. And when she failed at controlling you, she "brok up" with you.
Surprise! Same thing happened to me.